There is an illustration called a Beliefs Tree – imagine a tree in full leaf.
The leaves represent our behaviour and performance. The branches are our feelings, emotions and attitude. The Trunk is our values and the roots are our beliefs and conditioning.
Our behaviour and performance is what the outside world sees and judges us by. Our behaviour rests on and is influenced by our feelings, emotions and attitudes at the time. These in turn rest on our values. A child who is taught never to lie will be honest when s/he tells the policeman what has happened, in spite of the consequences. Values stem from beliefs and conditioning within a family, which starts at birth. For example - why is telling a lie a bad thing? Religious parents may say it is a sin, others can think of the possible dangers of lying. In other words, your behaviour and mine stem from our childhood and the things we were taught before we even started to understand and ask questions. That is why it is so hard to change. Recognise this pattern and realise that change is possible.
1. Make a list of all the situations and tasks in which you are confident. For example: driving, using the computer, cooking etc.
2. Now make another list of those situations where you lack confidence. For example: meeting new people, making presentations to others.
Keep these lists out and add or subtract from them as necessary. Then look at the situations in which you lack confidence. Do these occur regularly? Do they stop you doing what you want to do? In no – forget them for now. If yes – pick one and take action.